Facing It
by cheerdown83
Summary: Post-show Literati, one part. She knows they're supposed to be together, too. It's years after she last saw him and she's finally facing it.


**Facing It**

 _Summary:_ Future Jess & Rory, one part. She knows they're supposed to be together, too. It's years after she last saw him and she's finally facing it.

 _Author's Note:_ Hello. Thanks for stopping by this little story, which is simply a one-part Lit drabble. (It was tempting to, in view of Season 4 Rory, have Jess just say, "Huh. Well, goodbye," at the end and slam the door on her, but that wouldn't be Lit-friendly ending. ;))

 _Disclaimer:_ I own nothing.

—

Her last "no" had echoed in her mind for the past years. To say nothing of that disastrous visit to Philadelphia. She had ended up asking herself what on earth had happened. At first, she settled for the idea that this had been some bizarre, real-life version of one of those silly horror movies, and she had been taken over by a heartless, confused creature who only resembled her in appearance. Then, she had realized that, in its own strange way, it was all part of her growing up and finding her own path in life. It had been a long, bumpy road, and she was pretty sure that it was still not going to be smooth driving. She had made some mistakes, too. God, there was one massive mistake that she wished she could replay. Just press the rewind button on her life and delete the following scenes. It had lead to her biggest fight yet with her mother, her best friend and most important person in her life.

Once back at Yale, she had delved into her studies completely. She had made lists, she had worked hard, she had pushed aside any of her emotions apart from the usual ones that involved family and friends. She had graduated, immediately landed a job and eventually even pursued her dream to be a foreign correspondent. After some time, however, she had come to realize that this wasn't her dream anymore. She had changed, and her goals had changed. So when she was offered a job with a renowned newspaper, she took the chance and changed her life. This inevitably meant that the emotions she had kept on the back burner came to the forefront and stumbled out. They were just as confused as she was, but slowly, it all became clear. This was why she was taking this trip now. When she had told her mother that she had something to take care of, she couldn't help but think that her mother knew just what that was.

A cup of coffee in the cup holder next to her, she alternately gripped the steering wheel with both hands and the cup with one, wondering if this was really the right thing to do. Being the way she was, she had made a pro and con list. The pro slot won out. It reminded her of a time a few years back, when he'd left and hadn't said goodbye. She went to see him then, not letting logic dictate her actions. The last time, when she had said "no" with such apparent conviction, he hadn't said goodbye either. Maybe this was the thin straw of hope that she had. Or maybe it was that sense of inevitability. They _were_ meant to be together, and she was taking a chance now to see if they still could be.

Here it was, her destination. In more ways than one. Maybe this had been her destination all along. She got out, clinging onto her coffee cup, and walked to the door. Now she just had to work up the nerve to ring the doorbell. _You can do this,_ she coached herself. _You drove all this way, and you can now just reach out and ring the bell._ Such a simple gesture, really, but so difficult in this situation. Ringing that bell meant that she was unleashing her emotions fully. What if he wasn't even here? What if he didn't think they belonged together anymore? Dryly, she thought that after their last encounter, she wouldn't even blame him. But this was no time for regrets. She nervously lunged for the doorbell – and halted. It had been a good try, but her mind didn't quite seem ready to go through with it all the way yet. She closed her eyes, mentally counted to three, and then rang the bell.

Her heart pounding, she waited. She wondered what a heart attack felt like, because the possibility that she was about to have one was highly likely. She heard approaching footsteps and then, the door opened.

Feeling like her heart was about to stop, she burst out, "I need to talk to you."

He stared at her, unbelieving, no sign of that smirk just yet. His hair was different, still crazy, but without all that gel. He looked older, more mature, but still like the man she knew.

She took a breath. "I'm doing my best not to panic here, even though I'm feeling pretty weird. Hyper, even, but that may just be all the coffee I had on the drive here." She exhaled. "I don't want to launch into some report about how I've been at Yale and how I've graduated. I don't want to say to you, 'Hey, how have you been?' because that wouldn't cover it. I just... if you asked me now... my answer...", she trailed off, knowing that she was rambling again.

He still looked at her, his face not giving anything away.

"You didn't say goodbye. And I didn't give you the answer I should have given you, more than once. I know it might be too late – I thought about that a lot, I wrote it down on my list, and I kept thinking it as I was driving here – but... you never know it unless you try it, so... I came here to... ask you if... you'd take me up on an offer if I told you that I knew it too. I know we're supposed to be together. Maybe the timing was never right before, but... maybe it is now."

If it was possible, her heart rate had increased even more. She was still nervously grasping her coffee cup.

He finally shifted in the doorway. That familiar smirk she'd never been able to entirely forget about was emerging.

"Huh."

She blinked, staring at him still, unable to look away for fear of him not really being there at all.

"You didn't say goodbye either," he continued, smirking fully.

"So...," she ventured.

"So...," he replied.

"We both know it," she confirmed.

He nodded. "Seems so."

She attempted a smile. They didn't break eye contact, but took a tentative step closer to each other.

"Hi," came a greeting familiar to her from a moment years back.

"Hi."

Her heartbeat was returning to normal. Whatever normal was. Her smile became more definite. His smirk transformed into his smile. This time around, the timing was right. This was the start of something new, the start of an adult relationship. They would need to work to become closer once more, but their connection was ever-present. They weren't perfect. They wouldn't be perfect together. However, it could, no, would, be the closest thing to it.


End file.
